Set a few thousand years in the past, on the east coast of what is now Tasmania.
Characters: Jackie (concerned citizen), Wandon (witch doctor).

Jackie: “Hey Wandon, you noticed the tides are getting higher lately?”

Wandon: “Yeah Jackie, couple of the tribe have had to move their wurlies up the hill a bit.”

Jackie: “Blimey Wandon, what is happening to the world?”

Wandon: “Dunno Jackie, let me consult the spirits.”

Wandon squats down near the fire and goes into a trance for an hour or so.

Upon wakening he says, “The spirits say the tide is going to eventually rise 360 ft (approx 120 metres) – it’s something they call global warming. They also said that many years in the future some white fellas are going to get upset about a rise of a few centimeters.”

Jackie: “What causes it Wandon, what can we do? Pretty damn soon we won’t be able to walk back to the other tribe (on what is now Wilsons promontory). I only made that trip a few months ago and picked up my wife there.”

Wandon: “Too many campfires Jackie, burning too much fuel and raising the CO2 level.”

Jackie: “What’s CO2 Wandon?”

Wandon: “Not sure Jackie, but apparently it ain’t too good. The spirits say we got to cut out campfires altogether.”

Jackie: We can’t do that. We been hunting and gathering for thousands of years, and cooking over open fires – isn’t there any other way?”

Wandon: “Well they did say that if we sacrificed an 18 year old virgin to the gods they would stop global warming.”

Jackie: “You’re joking, where the hell we going to find an 18 year old virgin – looks like we’re stuck with global warming. Still, there is one good side of it all. The Mother-in-law was going to walk across (Bass Strait) and visit us next month – the old battleaxe won’t be able to now.”

Wandon: “You’ll just have to hope that she never takes up sea kayaking, otherwise she will just paddle across.”